October 8, 2012

Love.

I felt power at my home was out in America’s retaliation to take a piece of my Pride..
Maybe because I took some of theirs after asking what if the “Flag” means nothing..
And I’m still not certain what it means to you.. or any other American who has been taught to honor it.. because it stands for what?
Does it stand for values that hold Families together? The Flag did not keep my Parents from divorce for 35 years..

Does it stand for morals that prevent teens from becoming Mothers and Fathers too soon? The Flag did not keep me from becoming a Mother at 18. But maybe if I’d gone into the military it would’ve right? But then what if my torso was blown off, and I never got the chance to become a Mother. Or my head, and I never got the chance to dream of it either.
Does it prevent the spread of cancer? The Flag did not prevent my Grandmother from dying of Pancreatic Cancer.
Does it prevent the spread of HIV and AIDS? The Flag did not prevent a little boy I met from being born with AIDS.
Does it prevent poverty? Have you seen a homeless person use a Flag for a blanket? I didn’t, and I was homeless. And if I were homeless, and you saw me covered with a Flag on the street or a relative’s home, would that have made me valiant..admirable.. and would you have provided a home for me. Would you have helped me then?
What Flag has ever kept the lights on?
What Flag has ever kept the car going when the lights on..symbolizing empty?
Does it stand for the Freedom of my speech in this .. Does it stand for the Freedom of your anger and mine?
I’m just asking questions here?
Please do not be offended.. what does it mean is all I am asking..
I was taught to survive. If the Flag stands for hard work and dedication..if it stands for providing.. if it stands for honor.. if it stands for fight..then give my Daddy one.
I was taught to listen, and I didn’t.
I was taught to work hard, and I did.
I worked too hard on myself and I lost my way.. or did I find it..
I was taught to tell the truth, and I didn’t.. or did I and didn’t know it.. and then I learned to be honest on purpose on my own.
I was taught to be peaceable among men, but I fought when someone talked about my Mama. I fought again, and again. I fought when someone snatched a gold chain from my Friend’s neck who America would say was overweight..
I was ready to fight when someone threatened my Sister..
And I’m ready to quarrel if someone talks about what is dear to me.. who is dear to me.. who I pray for that may not even know I exist. Because that is what I stand on and that is what I have made important to me. That is what I believe in. Is that what the Flag means to you? What does it mean is all I’m asking..
I don’t know much about this country.
I know that I live here. I was shielded from it. 
I know what I’ve seen in the news. But someone said don’t believe the media. So do I know anything..
I know what I’ve seen in documentaries..
About the Wars I and II.. Vietnam.. and the like ..
The Heroin problems.. the crack problems.
The AIDS epidemic.. I don’t know how it came about.. I don’t know how it ended..
I don’t even know the story they told you .. But if the Flag is supposed to mean something to me.. it will mean I am still standing..
But so is South America.. so is Russia .. so is Korea.. so is China .. so is Anartica.. so is Africa.. so are You.
Therefore, what are we fighting for. We are all still standing.
Do you believe Osama Bin Laden waged war on the United States of America by flying two planes into the World Trade Center? The Pentagon?
Do you? If so, do you think it was fair for the people to die instead of you? Would you have rathered take their place? On that battle ground.. Or do you honor the Flag even more so because they died, you didn’t, and you get to live another day. Is that selfish? Do you think it was right to take Bin Laden’s life in exchange? The tactics, the intelligence, the patience, to carry it out; at least the very little I’ve seen of them is intriguing.. but Navy Seals have intrigued me for a while now, and the aforesaid is why I respect them.. not because they know how to kill, or said to kill him.
This may be in my Child’s voice.. Bin Laden had a Family too.. He had a wife.. Children.. a Mother.. a Father. Do you think he evolved out of nothing. Do you think the men that killed him are comfortable with that fact. Do you not think it possible for them to live in torture of revenge? Do you think they spend  a lot of waking moments hoping, praying.. for the lives of their Families to not be shortened by rage? Do you not think they could possibly be in turmoil?
But he, in your eyes, destroyed what was a symbol of pride, no? And half of us weren’t even thinking about the World Trade Center before all of this.. There were probably hundreds of New Yorkers that walked by Their magnificence daily and did not stop to marvel. And this is not a shot at New York, but probably truth.. as Truth is in it.
And if the United States of America killed Osama, he has shown how America is no better at upholding values of that sort, if Thy Shall Not Kill; but that the United States of America is as much as a Gangster as any other when it comes to protecting our Home Land.. and if that is the case free every person that has killed another for what they believed in ..
But that would be chaotic.. that’d be insane, right.
I pray this does not insight you to anger.. I recognize the Families who have lost love ones to war.. who died for their Country, for this country. It could have been me, or someone I love. Or love. But what would the Flag do for my Family in my absence. I give myself for you in place of a bad thought and I don’t know you either..Because that’s how much I don’t want to hurt you.. ask God..
Not your typical war.. But I am still a soldier.
Maybe if we build our values on what cannot be touched, but felt..
War will be no more.
But as long as we’re fighting.. we’re all a bunch of thugs.
And this is how I Justify My Thug for America..




1 comment:

Shawn Binder said...

I think this just furthers McCloud’s point that abstract ideas hold so many different connotations that they can never be fully defined. You stating what pride means to you is so different from the way I (or other people) may view pride. Pride is an abstract idea that society has decided to imprint upon a flag. It’s up to each individual to accept or deny this agreed upon idea that the flag= pride for your nation. For some people, a flag is just a flag. It all depends on your personal experiences. In Arab in America he seemed to have a very different idea of national pride from other people. He viewed himself as more informed (and for the most part, he was) than other Americans he surrounding himself with. They all had different experiences which made their vantage points so vastly different. Thus, their outlook on abstract ideas and symbols varied greatly.

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